I had a subitaneus realization on something very striking, about a family. What is a family? The dictionary definition of Family says:
"A fundamental social group in society typically consisting of one or two parents and their children."
I am talking about immediate family, not the extended one. One's family should transit with age. Ok, let me explain:
Let's start with newly weds. A newly wed couple starts living together, enjoys life togeter. Most commonly they will have child/children. Which would satisfy the definition of a family. It is called a family when children are younger, studying, dependent on parents. Parents usually rule in this small and very basic segment of society. Parents have unprecedented governance in this social group. the youngerones grow up, get their first hand experiences, learn things and reaches a point in time, where there is a cutoff, which plays a very significant role now. This cut off is when a child becomes independent, and most commonly will start to look out or would already have a mate. When this search is over, this child would want to settle down. Now this child, of her parents, as we can say, is in transition. Here is where metamorphosis occures for a person, she starts to belong to a new family now. Her previous family should become an extended family gradually. This is a cutoff point, and traditional valued society misses this cut off point.
In an orthodox commonwealth, a child is not expected to "start a new family" but rather have addition to the family. Usually, this addition to a family is less priored. This phenomenon is very similar to joining a new group. The new person is less important in an association than an old member. The additions to a family, result in embroilment. The old family members want to continue their unprecedented rule over their children, when their children are at the age when they can have their own family. The old family should become extended family. I don't intend to blame or accuse here any kind of social arrangement, and individual case could be different. Even in nature we observe similar pattern of behaviour. A cat would give birth kittens, and when the kittens reach at certain age, cat leaves them alone. But in human society, the parental instincts soemtimes overcasts this natural pattern. They "expect" their once obedient little darlings to be obedient little darlings forever. Fear and jealousy plays huge role here. Parental instincts can not accept the fact that their once little one now likes someone else and that someone is her first priority, and there starts all their tantrum. There are ways to make this transition smoother, and depends very much on a family as a whole's maturity. Some people can never accept transition, and I am sure, their dreams just stays dreams.
In Conclusion, I have observed that mature commonwealth provides a flourishing ground for our betterment, progress and prosperity and is ofcourse more alleviating.
P.S: An interesting article in NYTimes over another interesting behaviour of a family:
