The Family

I had a subitaneus realization on something very striking, about a family. What is a family? The dictionary definition of Family says:

"A fundamental social group in society typically consisting of one or two parents and their children."

I am talking about immediate family, not the extended one. One's family should transit with age. Ok, let me explain:

Let's start with newly weds. A newly wed couple starts living together, enjoys life togeter. Most commonly they will have child/children. Which would satisfy the definition of a family. It is called a family when children are younger, studying, dependent on parents. Parents usually rule in this small and very basic segment of society. Parents have unprecedented governance in this social group. the youngerones grow up, get their first hand experiences, learn things and reaches a point in time, where there is a cutoff, which plays a very significant role now. This cut off is when a child becomes independent, and most commonly will start to look out or would already have a mate. When this search is over, this child would want to settle down. Now this child, of her parents, as we can say, is in transition. Here is where metamorphosis occures for a person, she starts to belong to a new family now. Her previous family should become an extended family gradually. This is a cutoff point, and traditional valued society misses this cut off point.

In an orthodox commonwealth, a child is not expected to "start a new family" but rather have addition to the family. Usually, this addition to a family is less priored. This phenomenon is very similar to joining a new group. The new person is less important in an association than an old member. The additions to a family, result in embroilment. The old family members want to continue their unprecedented rule over their children, when their children are at the age when they can have their own family. The old family should become extended family. I don't intend to blame or accuse here any kind of social arrangement, and individual case could be different. Even in nature we observe similar pattern of behaviour. A cat would give birth kittens, and when the kittens reach at certain age, cat leaves them alone. But in human society, the parental instincts soemtimes overcasts this natural pattern. They "expect" their once obedient little darlings to be obedient little darlings forever. Fear and jealousy plays huge role here. Parental instincts can not accept the fact that their once little one now likes someone else and that someone is her first priority, and there starts all their tantrum. There are ways to make this transition smoother, and depends very much on a family as a whole's maturity. Some people can never accept transition, and I am sure, their dreams just stays dreams.

In Conclusion, I have observed that mature commonwealth provides a flourishing ground for our betterment, progress and prosperity and is ofcourse more alleviating.

P.S: An interesting article in NYTimes over another interesting behaviour of a family:

It's the Kids. Lock Up the China!

Viva Le Tour!

"Viva le Tour! Forever"
Lance Armstrong, 7th straight, legendary, storied Tour-de-France winner!!

Three Cheers to Lance, A Living Legend!

"I once met three guys named pain, suffering, and sacrifice. Now, we'er inseparable. We're best friends."
Lance armstrong said this once.


Every Second Counts



What would you say to Lance Armstrong if you had one minute of his time?
Here's my one minute with Lance:


Live Strong: Lance Armstrong

Dear Sir Lance,

Yes, I have to call you "Sir". There was something about you, which always made me want to know about you. I am a big fan of your high spirit, not getting defeated by carcinoma. When I heard about your sixth straight victory in tour de france as a cancer survivor, I wanted to salute you. I admire very much your determination, inner strength and will power to come back alive. You have grown to a legend. It does not matter if you win 7th straight tour-de-france, you have already won it even before the race started. You have won it by surviving post-cancer life, by deciding to race, by preparing for the race. That is your one of the biggest achievement. The performance does not matter, the will to perform to be on the top is what matters. You are a living torch for all the cancer patients. I wish you all the best for the race, but remember, you are already No. 1!

Three Cheers for You Lance!!

You can also find this and other letters to Lance here on USAToday .

Memorable past

I was recently reminded of some of my childhood memories while reading one of the posts. I just thought of sharing it with you guys.

It was, may be, 15 years before, I was a bright highschool kid. I wanted to take early lessons for even better performance. So, it was summer classes that I was attending, not in school, arranged by some other people. You pay high fees, and they teach you. Mainly math and science. I would wake up early, take 6:20am public transportation bus, then I was supposed to hire a rickshaw (a three wheeler automobile taxi). For first few days, my dad dropped me and picked me up. But eventually, I was starting to set my routine. And, I believe, very early I started to do this. Take the bus, and instead of taking rickshaw, I would walk in the breezy morning, as i had some spare time left for the claases to start. On the way, there comes an underpass, going under the rail tracks. I saw this guy in very terrible condition on the sidewalk. He was a leper, I guessed he was begging there, though he never asked for anything. He didn't have many fingers, and I did not think he could even see. I felt very bad for the unequality, here, I have luxury to go to school, hire a rickshaw coming from well to do family, and here this guy, I don't know how he would be eating his food or if he could even get food. I was afraid to go near with a fear of catching leprosy. But then I decided that, since, I had some spare time and I could walk, I would walk every day, and save money which my parents gave me to hire a rickshaw, I will give it to this guy. This way, I would help him, without being feared of catching infection, from far. I started to give money to this guy everyday, not to mention here that I never told about this at home. He never asked for it, neither I was not sure he knew that someone was giving him money. I never got any kind of gesture or words or movements from him. I was not sure how this guy would spend money, since I doubted that he could walk, but I did not want to think about it. I was painful. I sometimes would keep some fraction of change to add it to my piggy bank that's a different story..
This continued almost for all the weekdays for two months. Now summer vaction was ending, and so did my classes. I was so worried about this guy that how he would survive now, as if he was surviving on me! But back then, I seriously thought that he would starve and will die soon, and I would be responsible for his death.. I wanted to continue this classes but it was not feasible or possible with school.. and I had to leave it there.

After sometime, whenever I would pass by the same underpass, I would try to look for this guy. It was monsoon, and I read in the newspaper that this underpass was flooded with water, and I was worried about this guy, when I did not know if he was still there and alive.

This incident or whatever you call is one of the most memorable memories from my past..

Valkyries

This caught my attention rightaway when i was just flipping through the book, and which also played major role in making me buy the book:

"We wind up killing what we love most..."
From Valkyries - Paulo Coelho

Summer Serenity

Innocence in the seventh heaven.

What is Freedom?

What is Freedom?

Is it being free from the habits or desires, or justlying idle? Does freedom refer to actions or deeds or words or thoughts?

My the same dear friend who wanted to discuss about "SPACE" asked me another question, "What is Freedom?" have you ever thought on freedom?

we were born, we were freed from the cozy womb, and we cried, we were not happy, we were not free in real sense. We adapted to the surroundings we grew up. and we learned to be happy with it. We learnt that there is day and there is night, we formed a habit of resting and sleeping at night and waking up, being active in the day. we formed out habits and routine based on this solar cycle. these habits also furnishes our biological needs. and provides a set of activities during the day. Think, if you were to sit idlly, disregarding day or night, you had no routine, and you were living in a cave. how would you have managed your life? you will try to set a routine then too. you will learn cold/hot/rain by experience, and take actions to make yourself comfortable. when you would have felt comfortable, you would have been happier! Freedom is not leaving every earthy things and going to caves in solitude.

We grow up, we start taking more interest in opposit sex (i'm talking about in general). we feel a need to have a companion, with whom we can be ourselves. we have a burning desire here. Are we free here? This comes from our learnings since 1000s of years, we also call it our biological needs. in an average case, a person would eventually find a companion. In this association, comes expectations, responsibility. Some times this can be annoying, and we are unhappy again, striving to escape from this unhappiness. Desire is associated with what is opposit of freedom. Is there any freedom here?

Our actions or deeds are the result of a motive, a thought. A thought is motive to any action. Thought can be of your own liking or something you abhor. you are captive of your own mind! Is this freedom?

Then what is freedom?

I just realized something very unnoticed: we call it freedom which makes us happy. The unhappy status gives the feeling opposite to freedom. Is it really true though?

To think is the elementary characteristic of our perplexing mind. Thinking is learned behaviour from our past. So, when we think, we are carrying forward our past with us. When we bring our past in present, we are not free. Another act of mind is analyzing, which is the act of going through our fears, in good words, checkpoints. Fear surmounts freedom. we surrender ourselves to fear and seek pursuits we think will make us safe, which is running from fears. If we can be free from our fears, may be we can be free. It is still a subject of an exploration. A person can feel freedom even when in an association. And a person can feel opposit of freedom even when in no association. Freedom is extant, and we have to uncover it.